20 Funny Cat Quotes

  • Cats can work out mathematically the exact place to sit that will cause most inconvenience.
-Pam Brown
Funny cat quote
  • Cats’ hearing apparatus is built to allow the human voice to easily go in one ear and out the other.
-Stephen Baker
  • A cat isn’t fussy – just so long as you remember he likes his milk in the shallow, rose-patterned saucer and his fish on the blue plate. From which he will take it, and eat it off the floor.
-Arthur Bridges  
  • Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you later.
-Mary Bly   
  • Cats do care. For example they know instinctively what time we have to be at work in the morning and they wake us up twenty minutes before the alarm goes off.
-Michael Nelson
  • Dogs have owners, cats have staff.
  • After scolding one’s cat one looks into its face and is seized by the ugly suspicion that it understood every word. And has filed it for reference.
-Charlotte Gray
  • The problem with cats is that they get the same exact look whether they see a moth or an ax-murderer.
-Paula Poundstone
Funny quote for cat lovers
  • When my cats aren’t happy, I’m not happy. Not because I care about their mood but because I know they’re just sitting there thinking up ways to get even.
-Percy Bysshe Shelley
  • Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.
-Robert A. Heinlein   
  • Kittens are born with their eyes shut. They open them in about six days, take a look around, then close them again for the better part of their lives.
-Stephen Baker
  • Your cat will never threaten your popularity by barking at three in the morning. He won't attack the mailman or eat the drapes, although he may climb the drapes to see how the room looks from the ceiling.
- Helen Powers
  • Cats are kindly masters, just so long as you remember your place.
- Paul Gray
Hilarious quote for cat owners
  • A cat is the only domestic animal I know who toilet trains itself and does a damned impressive job of it.
-Joseph Epstein
  • The trouble with sharing one’s bed with cats is that they’d rather sleep on you than beside you.
-Pam Brown 
  • You can keep a dog; but it is the cat who keeps people, because cats find humans useful domestic animals.
-George Mikes
  • The cat does not offer services. The cat offers itself. Of course he wants care and shelter. You don't buy love for nothing. Like all pure creatures, cats are practical.
-William S. Burroughs
  • If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much.
- Mark Twain
  • I don’t think it is so much the actual bath that most cats dislike; I think it’s the fact that they have to spend a good part of the day putting their hair back in place.
-Debbie Peterson   
  • The reason cats climb is so that they can look down on almost every other animal; it's also the reason they hate birds.
- KC Buffington
Funny quote about cats
  • After scolding one's cat one looks into its face and is seized by the ugly suspicion that it understood every word. And has filed it for reference.
- Charlotte Gray


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